The John Box Times
July 4, 2018
by John Box
In the wake of Japan’s World Cup loss to Belgium, high school student Yoko Shimizu said that while she enjoyed the knock-out-stage match between the two countries, she did not enjoy the outcome and humbly wishes all Belgium fans a new, incurable form of VD.
Holding her middle finger up in the general direction of Europe, she said, “I think everyone performed admirably and I have the utmost respect for all Belgians, but it is my humble and modest wish for all firstborn males to get ebola of the testicles.”
Shimizu finished her gracious rant by saying that her love for Belgium chocolate and waffles will go on despite her courteous wish for the nation itself to be consumed by the fires of Hell.
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