Smart Words by Famous People #1

Every advice that makes the speaker sound smart is not only awesome, but practical too. Here's a real-life example from silky voiced Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs with answers by John Box of Pearls Before Swine.

The question to Mr. Rowe was, "What is your job advice to people who are trying to find work?"

Mike Rowe: The idea that there's a perfect job is really comforting ... but dangerous; in the same way that there’s a perfect soulmate.
The first thing to do is to look around and see where everybody else is headed … ... and to head in the other direction.

John Box: Me rikey. I hate people cause they're all mouth-breathing deposits of fat, so I can easily go against their collective will. And I guess everyone’s headed towards making money. Like via Silicon Valley and/or renewable resources. But now that I think about it, you made a super general statement, so I guess something like renewable resources is prolly way too specific. As such, I’ll just go with “making money.” And now I’ll head in the other direction which is “not making money.” I’m excellent at that so, so far so good.

Mike Rowe: The second thing to do is embrace the thing that scares you, frightens you, or otherwise makes you blanch.

John Box: Wait, are you being a pompous retard or do you mean blush? Sorry. Assuming you’ve got your shit together, I’ll go with blanch. Which I’ve never heard anyone say. Ever. But in that case, I guess I’ll be embracing getting anally raped by a lacrosse stick. (Blanch.) Frankly, blanch or blush, I’m getting it up the ass hard, without permission.

Mike Rowe: The third thing to do is to become really really good at that thing.

John Box: Seriously?! You want me to become really really good at being anally raped by a lacrosse stick?! I’m not even sure that that’s possible. I mean, I guess if I get raped in the ass enough by a lacrosse stick, my anal tract will widen and make for quick and easy insertion but I’m not really sure how this will get me a job.

Mike Row: And then the final thing, the thing that makes really happy people happy is to figure out a way to love it.

John Box: Guess what, Mike Row?! Before the final, super smart, super awesome words even came out of your mouth, I was already in love with getting anally raped by a lacrosse stick. Thank you so much, Mike Rowe. I will never ever never ever forget your Words of Wisdom.