2022 New Year Resolutions

  1. God damn, Ai Shinozaki is hot. Try to get her to like you.

  2. Wake up. Start by helping find a pronoun for ‘dudes & chicks who feel like chicks & dudes’ that isn’t already an existing pronoun with a meaning that is not that. Perhaps “pe”?

  3. Learn the drums.

  4. See if Ai will let you smell her hair.

  5. Try not to look down on people who don’t brush their teeth three times a day.

  6. Cause dude, you’re lucky if you do it once.

  7. Do look down on people who don’t know how to fucking walk. Cause they’re morons! #1) Walk on the correct side of the street! Moron! #2) When you’re walking with other people, don’t walk like a wall and take up the whole sidewalk! You’re in the way you fat fuck!!!

  8. Lose weight. Not cause you’re fat, but because you hate fate people so much. Stop being so fat, you fat fucking fucks.

  9. Get someone canceled.

  10. Get canceled by fat fucking fucks. Totally JK. Fat fucks won’t cancel me. Only woke do-gooders who have their heads so far up their asses that they don’t realize that they’re actually doing bad when they cancel people. Idiots. Fatties know they need to lose weight.

  11. Research whether their are exceptions to the no-punching-women-in-the-face rule. Particularly, if they whine a lot. Perhaps it’s okay then? If so, find out if there’s an age limit.

  12. Enjoy a wonderful year.

  13. Stop calling her ‘mouth-full-o-sperm’ and start calling her ‘mom’.

  14. Add some pics to this shit. People had reading. Illiterate fat fucks.