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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/248af536-5928-4500-a4af-faa82ed9cabe/Dude+giving+robot+a+pat+on+the+butt+-+Leonardo+generated.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Sarah Silverman Sues ChatGPT; This Author Gives ChattyG a Firm Pat on the Butt - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>An AI Rendering of me giving ChattyG a Pat on the Butt. I don’t really look like this, but who am I to question AI.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2025/8/28/the-meaning-of-life</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-08-27</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/6918a619-e909-439b-8b9b-ac5e4d00422f/Alien+killing+time+between+galaxies+-+Brendan+generated+via+Leonardo.AI.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Meaning of Life - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is what you actually look like.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/a62f4dc6-d784-4368-b347-e21164f6d7f4/Middle+Finger+Mitsushima+Hikari.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Meaning of Life - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is what I really look like.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2024/12/31/2024-new-year-resolutions</loc>
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    <lastmod>2024-12-31</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2023/12/31/2024-new-year-resolutions</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2024-01-01</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/cc17c7f8-2ddd-41b3-8c0f-5213d609411d/Shit+for+brains.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - 2024 New Year Resolutions - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>An X-ray of my mom’s head. She’s such a dumb fuck I hate her.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/a7deda56-fafd-4f99-a3b3-5459cd205db9/Onlyfans.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - 2024 New Year Resolutions - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>$5 a month don’t mean shit to Ukraine. But this lady would certainly appreciate it.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/484d541b-9e0f-4677-bf4b-e091aa303dcc/Michael+Jackson+Thriller.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - 2024 New Year Resolutions - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Michael Jackson singing Thriller. It’s pretty much on topic. Whatever, fuck off.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2023/8/9/live-in-the-moment</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2023-09-20</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/35f40350-4f06-4807-a017-19ee3d16b011/Teenager+at+twilight+holding+peanut+butter+and+jelly+sandwich.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Being Present: A Guru’s Guide to Living in the Moment - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Yeah, that’s right, I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and licked my own arms. Wanna fight about it?!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/be0c29cf-c690-47bf-b332-369a4d8189a7/Guru+-+douche+being+present+in+the+moment.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Being Present: A Guru’s Guide to Living in the Moment - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Your guru of living in the moment, being present, and all things cosmic metaphysical spiritual ecstasy truth connection not at all bullshitty.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2023/8/12/bold-predictions-for-the-2023-nfl-season</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2023-08-12</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1c88f630-09f2-4001-8a85-1c85abad5309/butt+muscles+that+are+not+as+hard+as+a+cast+iron+grill.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2023 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>These are not Samaje Perine’s butt muscles. These are flabby old buttflaps. You could cut glass on Perine’s butt muscles.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/d59a7744-8ced-483a-a5c5-05c40917a18f/Chrisitan+Watson+Green+Bay+Packers.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2023 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Hear that? That’s the sound of everyone booing me because I suck this year.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/10ee9bfa-a193-4918-a47c-b14c1831a709/David+Slaying+Goliath.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2023 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>David slaying Goliath. It’s an allegory. Because I said so.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/029e969a-7d26-4305-9f57-2a6458c0d75a/NFL+player+ACL+injury.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2023 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up. This isn’t Justin Fields. But it will be.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2023/1/4/saying-that-you-love-your-family-does-not-make-you-a-hero</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2023-03-30</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/f89ead20-81a2-4897-b8f6-262dd7c2995a/Tony+Danza+%233.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Saying That You Love Your Family Does Not Make You A Hero. Jackass. - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Ja, maar ik be heel wat gecker op mijn dockter.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/f5808ec4-b347-48e2-b17a-b52c6e061266/Tony+Danza+%232.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Saying That You Love Your Family Does Not Make You A Hero. Jackass. - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Hey! I love my family, but I would only have sex with two of these broads and neither of them is behind me!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2023/1/4/when-someone-says-something-that-sounds-deep-but-is-actually-stupid-thats-a-duchovny</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2023-02-16</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1672809874841-DBTWEPLRAK8FM8CILWBS/David+Duchovny.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - When Someone Says Something That Sounds Deep, But Is Actually Stupid, That’s A Duchovny - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>I’m as smart as I look.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2023/1/3/2023-new-year-resolutions</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2023-01-03</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/9bfcb857-276c-4d4d-9634-ebf3875d0be1/llama+fetuses+or+is+it+feti.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - 2023 New Year Resolutions - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>I never realized how appetizing llama fetuses (feti?) are until i google-imaged them. Looks scrumptious! p.s. I didn’t google them, I ecosia’d them. Look it up if you give a shit about planet earth. Ignoramus.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/b6a3c052-9d61-4302-960a-9d74ec2b9f84/skid+mark+tighty+whities.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - 2023 New Year Resolutions - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>This skid mark reminds me of my mom. in a good way.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2022/9/2/bold-predictions-for-the-2022-nfl-season</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2022-09-04</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/70040d44-915c-4e56-88aa-b0573436b890/Josh+Allen+%231.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2022 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>“I can’t remember if I’m supposed to throw to the receiver or fifty yards through the back of the end zone. It was 50 yards through the back of the end zone, right?”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/6051934f-7a3c-4746-ada5-611b99cc911a/Brian+Dabol+%26+Daniel+Jones.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2022 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>White Buddha imparting all football knowledge ever on newly enlightened Daniel Jones</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/6d3f68bf-57f6-40dc-a834-f33cc0bf6260/Deebo+Samuel.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2022 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>“Bro, predicting an injury for me is not cool. I’m smiling, but if I get hurt this year, I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/0a6d90b7-a686-4e03-a8bf-17a639ec8784/Jerry+Jeudy.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2022 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Jerry Jeudy the Redeemer. Soon to replace the Jesus statue overlooking Rio de Janeiro.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/cb20c59f-866e-4d6d-8e44-2f3555603357/Russel+Wilson+%233.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2022 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>“Let’s Ride!”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2022/5/5/grudges-against-dad-thanks-for-nothing-old-man</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2022-09-04</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/5f647f39-b280-4d14-9166-66f0efc68a22/Grudge+against+dad.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Grudges Against Dad; Thanks For Nothing, Old Man! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/cff17c7a-2fba-42d0-94e4-eeb8a264a44b/Great+Dad.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Grudges Against Dad; Thanks For Nothing, Old Man! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2022/5/5/how-to-rationalize-your-boozing</loc>
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    <lastmod>2022-09-04</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/6e2fa42c-a3e6-4f34-a3d2-7241e2d22a1e/I+dont+always+drink+beer.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - How To Rationalize Your Boozing - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/89d5b3eb-45ca-4ba2-987f-100ead7da107/vodka+tonic.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - How To Rationalize Your Boozing - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is one shot of vodka, and one glass of tonic. Totally alternating alcoholic &amp; non-alcoholic drinks. You’re welcome!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2022/5/5/my-replies-to-song-lyrics-1st-edition-can-i-get-a-by-jay-z</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2022-05-05</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/d508a62e-484e-4238-b4f8-107342039c21/Jay+Z.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - My Replies To Song Lyrics #1 - Can I Get A ... by Jay-Z - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Fun Fact: Jay-Z and I are both from New York. So we’re pretty much the same dude.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1a26df02-0c07-4d35-b493-dcad13ae3566/Amil+-+for+JB+Jay+Z+lyrics+post.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - My Replies To Song Lyrics #1 - Can I Get A ... by Jay-Z - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is Amil. As you will discover from her lyrics, she’s high class.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/f563ce55-26d1-4696-875f-8c38db9f8e45/Ja+Rule.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - My Replies To Song Lyrics #1 - Can I Get A ... by Jay-Z - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is Ja Rule. He has a sweet moustache.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2021/12/31/2022-new-year-resolutions</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2023-01-03</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2021/10/21/a-new-innovation-in-hair-deception</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-10-21</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1634793960208-77XWTBJF1OM8QSP7ZW89/Kliff+Klingsbury+%233.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - A New Innovation In Bald Spot Concealment - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2021/9/9/bold-predictions-for-the-2021-nfl-season</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-09-09</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1631176381539-IACDTRTY8WMHKK9AF1WQ/Jonathon+Taylor.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2021 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>“Hell’s Yeah! I crapped all over John Box’s fantasy team last year, and I’m gonna crap all over yours this year. Hell’s Yeah!”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1631176593265-8SFLO70KMCT3YZBQVVEZ/Najee+Harris.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2021 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>“This is me leap-frogging Run CMD into fantasy greatness.”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1631176668240-EZD34DXR9409B71KYWO3/Wayne+Gallman.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2021 NFL Season - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>“I’m gonna be what now?”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2021/8/16/the-dumbest-sport-in-olympic-historynbsp</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-08-16</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1629087569563-LQAT4FEPECM27OBATHQZ/Speed+Walking+%232.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Dumbest “Sport” in Olympic History&amp;nbsp; - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Hi. I’m speed walking cause I’m a douche who can’t excel at real sports.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1629087437710-B1HWRIJEWEP8KRBYHNGO/Karata+kata+scream.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Dumbest “Sport” in Olympic History&amp;nbsp; - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Heeeeeyahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See how I just knocked out my imaginary opponent. Sweet, right?!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2021/7/14/my-child-taught-me-patience-gt-an-ass-reamingrepudiation-of-idiots-who-say-that</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-07-14</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1626227303281-OKRF9D0HQXQ7PH89LFDG/naughty-toddler-girl-1.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - "My Child Taught Me Patience" - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>I’m having a temper tantrum. In other words, I’m teaching you patience. You’re welcome.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1626227391292-DV72LPWWQS41PDHGZL6V/Hurricane+Katrina+House+Destroyed+%231.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - "My Child Taught Me Patience" - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Did Hurricane Katrina destroy this house? Or did it teach it’s owners resilience?</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2021/6/1/flashpoint-ai-translation-still-dumb-amp-surprisingly-lecherous</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
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    <lastmod>2021-06-01</lastmod>
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      <image:caption>This is what I will look like when I become a mob boss. Notice how I cover up my tiny stature and small penis by killing people with a gun.</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Hi, I’m Donald Trump. I used to answer phone calls pretending to be my fake secretary to fool people into thinking that I was important. Who’s the douche now?!</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Odds are, you need a lacrosse stick up your ass to straighten you out.</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>What?! Trump has done more to help big corporations than magats like me?! That’s uncredulous! Okay, I’ll vote for the other super-old white guy.</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1599998520855-KLT3JUSN0CS2M8LLRBML/Trump+%234.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - How to Defeat Trump; A Simple &amp;amp; Unfuckupable Strategy for Biden to Annihilate Trump</image:title>
      <image:caption>Donald Trump is a mentally stable genius with a nice tan and a full head of hair.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/8/16/guest-post-dear-government-lets-cut-the-shit-can-we-just-start-making-pleasure-drugs-already</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2020-08-16</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1597556304136-E84S7GFE007J22C978O4/Teja.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Guest Post: Dear government, let’s cut the shit. Can we just start making pleasure-drugs already?</image:title>
      <image:caption>Author: Dr. B.J. Love, Ph.D., M.D., J.D., M.B.A Distinguished Professor of Ethics and Moral Philosophy Shibuya Higher Institute of Technology (SHIT)</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1597556546701-J0D05Z1M0BNLP12RX11X/Teja+post+-+Sports+before+and+after+pleasure+drugs.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Guest Post: Dear government, let’s cut the shit. Can we just start making pleasure-drugs already?</image:title>
      <image:caption>Sports: Before (left) and after (right) pleasure-drugs.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1597556814702-DELTHVQ6A137NKUF18L8/Teja+Post+-+Equation.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Guest Post: Dear government, let’s cut the shit. Can we just start making pleasure-drugs already?</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1597556902542-TPJVVZBDLQOSADF09O01/Teja+post+-+Transportation+before+and+after+pleasure+drugs.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Guest Post: Dear government, let’s cut the shit. Can we just start making pleasure-drugs already?</image:title>
      <image:caption>Transportation: Before (left) and after (right) pleasure-drugs.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/8/15/bold-predictions-for-the-2020-nfl-season</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-09-09</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1597492773692-I0W2CKKT4QJG630US9SJ/Kenyon+Drake.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2020 NFL Season</image:title>
      <image:caption>Kenyon Drake will dominate fantasy in 2020.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1597492830662-WT71UCE4KB4UREEGSFFI/Bucs+Tom+Brady.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2020 NFL Season</image:title>
      <image:caption>Tom Brady and the Bucs are going down like Paris Hilton.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1597492679279-7US50CO6YEG8DMCJFH7S/Dallas+Goedert+bringing+smoothies+for+you+and+me+and+everyone+betting+on+him.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2020 NFL Season</image:title>
      <image:caption>Dallas Goedert bringing slushies for you and me and everyone betting on him.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1597493026563-6ANOBA97BP4PJWOVSR6B/Cleveland+Browns+Super+Bowl+Champs+tatoo.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Bold Predictions for the 2020 NFL Season</image:title>
      <image:caption>This Cleveland Browns Super Bowl Champs tatoo is likely just a couple years early.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/6/7/the-best-japanese-words-ever-part-6</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1591613027807-YTZICISS3GI6QY7ZNRDE/Kancho+%231.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Best Japanese Words Ever – Part 6</image:title>
      <image:caption>Bronze statue immortalizing the beloved kancho</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1591613096291-ALV41IOHPMYM7LPVNKWA/JB+Kancho+Logo+%231+-+JPEG+-+if+ever+revise+make+more+yakuza+tatoo-ish.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Best Japanese Words Ever – Part 6</image:title>
      <image:caption>JB logo paying homage to the immortal kancho</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1591613384073-XKCC8R6V8N8KW7BYBPDJ/%E5%AF%8C%E5%B2%A1%E8%A3%BD%E7%B3%B8%E5%A0%B4+-+Silk+Reeling+-+Inside+Silk+Factory+-+or+Semen+Factory.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Best Japanese Words Ever – Part 6</image:title>
      <image:caption>They’re manufacturing either “silk” or “semen”. Your choice!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/7/12/notes-to-willy-aka-hamlet-is-overrated-illogical-and-all-around-sucky</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/6/7/how-to-raise-happy-kids</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1591505306864-H6W0UQ2K7YDUOXMS2UH7/Happy+Children+from+The+Secrets+to+Happy+Children+-+Angelibebe+-+may+be+subject+to+shhhh.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - How to Raise Happy Kids; Outstanding Advice from a Horrible Person</image:title>
      <image:caption>One of these happy kids could be yours. Either via kidnapping, or by following the simple advice above.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1591505498795-7TMBITGSH0MATO917QR3/JB+Logo+hireillustrator+%234+-+FINAL+-+transparent+background.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - How to Raise Happy Kids; Outstanding Advice from a Horrible Person</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/6/13/top-10-humorous-fiction-novels-of-all-time-that-ive-ever-read</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/4/25/an-open-letter-to-my-body-2-stop-feeding-me-covid-you-retard</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1587814982543-BGY4DZHZUZDHC1MAEIM5/Overweight+middle-aged+male+body.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - An Open Letter To My Body #2; Stop Feeding Me Corona, You Retard!</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/4/12/nightmare-part-2</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/3/15/nightmare</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2020/2/25/the-corona-virus-will-likely-just-get-worse-in-japan</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1582608110385-ZPW7V4I5BQSOY3L6XD7S/Coronavirus+%231.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Corona Virus will Likely Continue to Get Worse in Japan - A Local Tale in Tokyo</image:title>
      <image:caption>Coronavirus will likely spread in Japan</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1582608051154-B5K0RDUQ1VCJJ3C76RI0/Coronavirus+Japanese+Kids+Hip+Hop+Corona+Virus.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Corona Virus will Likely Continue to Get Worse in Japan - A Local Tale in Tokyo</image:title>
      <image:caption>Corona Virus Hip Hop Party in Japan</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1587031884526-AQODG4AVLW5GPO5NE1QQ/JB+Host+Pic+%239.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Corona Virus will Likely Continue to Get Worse in Japan - A Local Tale in Tokyo</image:title>
      <image:caption>Roughly $70 to have sex with a Japanese lady. Or $15 for me to hang out with you whilst talking about how slutty Japanese chicks are. Here’s a snippet. They’re super slutty.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2019/12/31/2020-new-years-resolutions</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1577803121868-DN282L5QYMZHFA39B5P1/Daniel+Day+Lewis+-+Keep+smiling+Daniel+Day+Lewis.+That+poop+smear+mustache+is+coming+soon.+The+year+of+the+rat.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - 2020 New Year’s Resolutions</image:title>
      <image:caption>Keep smiling, Daniel Day Lewis. That poop smear mustache is coming soon. The Year of the Rat is mine, you shitbag!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1577803696471-OWJLVHYK3M0EC8W316G0/TRUMP+IS+A+DOUCHE.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - 2020 New Year’s Resolutions</image:title>
      <image:caption>Trump is a douche. But we can all learn from him. It’s okay to lie, as long as it’s in order to get what you want.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2019/11/17/the-best-japanese-words-ever-part-5</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2019/7/16/hihokan</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1559301009065-OCRGI2Q2BUV4G7XAQ090/1+-+Hihokan+%26+Atami+Castle+from+afar.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Hihokan (秘宝官) - "Adult Museum" in Atami</image:title>
      <image:caption>Atami Castle is on the far right, Hihokan is in the middle, and Korakuen Hotel is on the left.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1559301565136-KOVAS8JM1A7I42ZTJLWK/2+-+Hihokan+motif+in+lobby.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Hihokan (秘宝官) - "Adult Museum" in Atami</image:title>
      <image:caption>This feast for the eyes is located in the lobby. We have much to learn from our “primitive” ancestors.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1559302565933-QXWIXCE4SJN1NXX3ZB8K/5+-+Hihokan.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Hihokan (秘宝官) - "Adult Museum" in Atami</image:title>
      <image:caption>An Edo-period geisha peep show.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1559302621659-3NQ0FMSTA7JG3Q9AW5HE/6+-+Hihokan+diarama+%231.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Hihokan (秘宝官) - "Adult Museum" in Atami</image:title>
      <image:caption>A diorama of a ring toss with a devilish twist.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1559302766106-7Z499LALM5YTQIHZGK71/7+-+Hihokan+diarama+%232.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Hihokan (秘宝官) - "Adult Museum" in Atami</image:title>
      <image:caption>A diorama of everyone’s favorite sexy play.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1559302818128-HIE88HXU7FXAR88THLRR/8+-+Hihokan+famous+painting+%231.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Hihokan (秘宝官) - "Adult Museum" in Atami</image:title>
      <image:caption>Birth of Venus. Step onto the mat in front of the masterpiece to reveal what she’s covering up. Hint: It’s not a vagina.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1559302904221-1JQXANS1XHSUBKYBPDZQ/9+-+Hihokan+famous+painting+%232.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Hihokan (秘宝官) - "Adult Museum" in Atami</image:title>
      <image:caption>The Gleaners. Step onto the mat in front of the masterpiece to reveal what they’re gleaning. Hint: It’s not a vagina.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2019/8/12/the-problem-with-the-10-commandments</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
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      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - The Problem with the 10 Commandments</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
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    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1553173809150-5MTWWJHAGD9VP4OCWWJN/Bicycle+Lanes+%236+-+Use.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Tokyo Solves Lack of Bicycle Lanes Problem</image:title>
      <image:caption>The freshly painted blue hashes in front and behind the freshly painted white bicycle figure mark the new bike lane.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1553173838975-VXRS8J8SF18J030VJCNH/Bicycle+Lanes+%234+-+Use.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Tokyo Solves Lack of Bicycle Lanes Problem</image:title>
      <image:caption>The new bright blue bike lane is even easier to identify here as it has been painted in block form.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1564311303863-2EGN8HXMVLY6CG0DC5NM/Bicycle+Lanes+%237+-+Use.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Tokyo Solves Lack of Bicycle Lanes Problem</image:title>
      <image:caption>You can now ride your bicycle carefree on this charming Tokyo avenue.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
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      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Tokyo Solves Lack of Bicycle Lanes Problem</image:title>
    </image:image>
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    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
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      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - That Bill Murray is Full of Shit!</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
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      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - That Bill Murray is Full of Shit!</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
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      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - That Bill Murray is Full of Shit!</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2019/3/21/linear-shinkansen-gt-revise-title</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1553338871057-7FAVTH7NGS194SC5WOMB/Maglev%2B-%2BChuo%2BShinkansen%2B%25231.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Is the New Shinkansen Bullet Train Worth It?</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
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      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Is the New Shinkansen Bullet Train Worth It?</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2019/6/18/is-my-babys-head-gonna-fall-off</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>http://www.pearlsbeforeswine68.com/thegreatwhitehostblog/2019/3/21/chinese-manuals-gtrevise-title</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-02-26</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/549c6d39e4b0bef254ec654f/1553340026732-69ZISEEOBFBLYMFRBORG/China%2BManual%2B%25231.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>The Great White Host Blog - Is it Just Me or Are English Manuals from China Getting Really Mean?</image:title>
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      <image:caption>To avoid any doubt, Jeong was mostly pretty funny on Community.</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Koi pond. This one is much fancier than the one in the book.</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>A not very close approximation of the event. There is a surprising lack of images on the internet of people squat-pooping on the hoods of taxis.</image:caption>
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